me and tula

so it's friday night, and i'm home. my roommate is at her boyfriend's. most of my friends are out of town or just otherwise occupied. and anyway, it's nice to be by myself. i needed a night alone. well, alone unless you count the cat and my large glass of red wine.

i'm watching 'my big fat greek wedding,' and wishing i were tula, the main character. at least then i would have something to change. something to work on. something to blame my singleness on. at the beginning of the movie, her hair and make up are a little lacking. then she goes to community college and magically gets it all together.

but i think my hair and make up are pretty awesome already. i have a BS in design, so i don't know that community college would change much of anything. i've read almost every christian dating book out there. i have prayed. i have internet dated (on match.com and eharmony). i have gone on dates with a lot of guys i knew i didn't want, just to 'be open.' and because i have a hard time saying no.

i have nothing left to work on. no more excuses. i've plateaued, really. it's kind of frustrating. i have to be one of the few people who cries while watching 'my big fat greek wedding.' i just hope somebody notices me soon, somebody like ian miller.