sharing & healing

i met up with my friend bev last night so she could share some of her 'dating' (hi)story with me. it was really, really great. afterwards i was struck by how people's stories can be so different, yet so much the same. the bottom line is that most of us have been hurt by some combination of crappy things happening, people being selfish, and our own bad decisions. different combinations of those things and different personalities and circumstances create different outcomes, obviously, but wounds are wounds. we're all definitely wounded, and it affects the way we relate to (or attempt to relate to) the opposite sex.

but people healing and moving through hurt is so encouraging! and talking with bev last night was definitely encouraging. she is healing, and in turn is helping others heal. so cool!

i think that is such an important thing for us single people, to share and heal and be healed. it's important for everyone, obviously. but with our fierce independence and fast-paced work-oriented lives, it's so easy to become isolated. and that makes the loneliness and the fear and the sadness so much worse. but if just step outside of myself, little by little, and share what i have learned, and listen to others share what they're learning.... i'm connected. and god uses those connections in awesome ways.

next we're kicking off a women's group, and i am really looking forward to it. i think i've really missed the kind of friendship bonds that can come from a small group. i've definitely seen how lately the lack of good girlfriends has been affecting my life. and now i'm finally doing something about it.

single/certain: me

i'm a christ follower in my late twenties. i'm female, taller than average, i like design, art, music videos, sparkling wines, and great jeans, among other things. i'm also single, and i have been for most of my adult life. when i say single, i mean, like, not in any kind of romantic relationship. i've had 2 relationships in my adult life; neither lasted more than about 3 or 4 months.

in spite of my singleness (well, probably because of my singleness) i've been a student of relationships since college. i've become the friend my other friends come to for advice, i'm the one recommending the latest relationship or christian psychology book, i'm the one suggesting that my married friends learn to fight fairly.

so that's a little bit of me.... but, why this blog? i've been yearning for a place for single people for a long time. a place where no one will tell us that we need to get married, or ask if we're seeing anyone. where our married friends won't try and set us up with anyone and everyone. where our friends won't secretly (or not so secretly) wonder what's wrong with us that we haven't found someone yet.

if you're single, i want you to know that you are ok just the way you are. that god loves you and has a plan for your life. you weren't forgotten, left out, or cosmically screwed over. there is a plan! maybe it involves meeting someone special soon, maybe not. maybe he wants to teach you things or prune things or give you something else special first. i don't know. but i do know that there is nothing wrong with you, and that you are not alone.

i'm not here to tell you exactly how to not be single anymore, or give you the formula for how to meet 'the one.' but i will share with you about my dating experiences, books i've read, my hopes and fears, and maybe even some of the really embarrassing stories about guys i've gone on dates with. (we'll see about that last one...)

i hope that by sharing my struggles and the things that god has been teaching me, it will help someone. i feel like i've learned a lot and learn more and more all the time. comment, ask questions, read away. shoot me emails, too, if you like. and know that i'm praying for you.