Friday, March 14, 2008

the balancing act

like i said in my previous post, i've been really busy lately. for the most part, it's a good busy. i'm doing a lot more service-type stuff. i'm serving with creative team, a group at my church that meets weekly to build and paint stuff for the kids' programs. i'm also helping out with a one-day city-wide service project and of course, the new orleans trip.

and it's good. it's really good; i feel like i'm growing and stretching into a kinder, more selfless person. i feel like i'm even trying to love and serve my friends more.

but.... (and you knew there'd be a but!) none of this great awesome stuff completely replaces that hope that someday soon i'll meet someone worth going on at least a few dates with. i'd be lying to you (and you probably wouldn't believe me anyway) if i told you otherwise.

i'm having a lot of fun. and i feel good about growing and maturing, and most importantly, connecting with god more. but of course, it's still there. you know what i'm talking about. the desire. the looking. the wondering. the scanning the crowd at church. i know it's both impossible and wrong to turn it off all the way, and i'm glad that it seems to have quieted down a little. i seem to be more able to focus on god and his work than i have been in a long time.

but..... all that being said, personal growth and marriage are not mutually exclusive things. discovering how to draw nearer to god doesn't have to happen in a state of singleness. it's just that way with me, i guess.

ok. focusing on the awesomeness, not the absence. i know you love me and have a plan, god.


Anonymous said...

I don't read anymore, but I heard (through Amir's commendation on his blog) that you stood up to Debbie Maken. Kudos to you.

Amir Larijani said...

I think the folks at Boundless are bloodied over Maken's antics, and they are seeing it now. Their shutting down of the discussion on that topic spoke volumes. And their posts since then have been EXTREMELY even-keel.

Before, they could have hidden behind the reasoning that Maken was tough, but was making some valid points and advancing the discussion.

Now, she has self-destructed on the very forum that helped promote her agenda.

I tried to talk her down from the bridge, but she insisted on jumping...