satisfactorily single on new year's eve

single venus and i were at the same new year's eve party. it makes me laugh that two people can be at the same party and have completely different experiences.

i've been struggling through some kind of sinus thing since sunday, so i've had this random annoying headache that comes and goes and seems to be indifferent to any of the medicine i've taken. the headache showed up monday afternoon, a few hours before the party. on top of that, i'm just kind of partied out. normally i'm party girl; i love a big gathering, fun music, etc. but i wasn't really in the mood for any of that monday night. since i was supplying both the party punch and the tunes, i packed up and headed out with my roommate and seth.

it really was a nice party. single venus noted that she "spent the whole night surrounded by beautiful people - laughing, flirting, eating, and taking wild pictures." i have to agree that a lot of our friends are pretty good looking. i guess i just forget that sometimes because i know all of them relatively well. and with the guys, i know them all well enough to know that i'm not interested.

i wasn't much in the mood for partying or making small talk with a zillion people. i chatted with people i hadn't seen in a while, made the rounds once or twice, then found a wall to hold up with the help of seth and my roommate, both of whom are introverts. it was nice to just chill with them.

and wouldn't you know it, i was in the right place at the right time to help someone who really needed some encouragement. if the headache and my lack of interest in the party were all just to put me where i needed to be to help a friend, they were worth it.

a girl at the party had come with her boyfriend; i know them both, though i know him better than her. rick and michelle have been on again/off again for a while now. but even when they're on, he doesn't treat her like a girlfriend. at some point during the party, she must have decided that she'd had enough of him (flirting with others, drinking, etc), because i saw her sitting out in the cold on the front porch waiting for a cab.

i didn't know what exactly had happened, but i knew enough to know that she probably felt really alone (the party was his friends, not hers) and really upset. so i went outside and sat down next to her. she kept telling me she was fine, and i kept saying, i know, but i'll just sit here with you for a while. and finally i just said look, i know it's none of my business, but, you are beautiful and smart and really fun and you deserve to be with someone who treats you well. rick's not a bad guy, but he doesn't treat you how you deserve to be treated. you could do better. you deserve better.

she just melted. she started to cry and told me about how he'd broken up with her 3 times but she kept taking him back because she was lonely. how she felt so dumb because she knew she didn't love him or even want to be with him, but it was just so hard. we sat outside for a while, just kind of holding each other (me comforting her and trying to keep us both warm). i told her she wasn't dumb, and that i had definitely been there before. we heard everyone count down inside, and toasted each other, kind of smiling at the random situation. eventually i convinced her to come back inside and hang out for a while until i could collect seth and my roommate, and then we'd leave and take her home.

it felt really good to spend new year's eve helping someone out instead of trying to kill time by drinking more punch and holding up walls and flirting with guys i already know i don't want to date.

it also felt really good to be single. single and drama free. i wasn't worried about who would (or wouldn't) be at the party, or who i might miss out on talking to if i sat outside to talk to michelle. i wasn't worried about leaving the party early. i was available and useful and that felt really good.

the blessing in single, from boundlessline.org

i found this post on boundlessline.org, and was very encouraged and strengthened by it. thought i'd share. suzanne hadley has some good things to say.