circumstances change, god's promises don't

when i first started this blog, i would write down snippets of post ideas on post-it notes and stick them in my journal. i came across one this morning that says here, in my singleness, god will appear to me. i am not leaving until i can really see him. underneath that i had written obedience and then underneath that, phil 1:6. woah. i'm not leaving?

philippians 1:6 is a great verse. but i kept reading in philippians, and i came across 1:19-20.

i am continuing to rejoice. i know that what's happened and continues to happen will turn out for my deliverance, my character building, and my being the image of jesus for someone else. the last part of verse 20, with just a simple phrase change, sort of sums it up, for me. below is the passage, with my phrase change in italics....

Yes, and I will continue to rejoice, 19 for I know that through your prayers and the help given by the Spirit of Jesus Christ, what has happened to me will turn out for my deliverance. 20 I eagerly expect and hope that I will in no way be ashamed, but will have sufficient courage so that now as always Christ will be exalted in my body, whether in singleness or in marriage.

if i can't see or experience christ right now, with my circumstances as they are, what makes me think i will be able to experience him more or better with different circumstances? god controls circumstances, not the other way around.

i saw rob bell speak last night. wow. as he reminded me, god is already on my side. it's finished. he's for me. no matter what circumstances now say, thousands of years of history and the stories of those years as told in the bible prove that god is on my side. i have sufficient courage. i will exalt you, christ, no matter what. i want to exalt you. i can honestly say that i would rather stay here and exalt you and understand you and feel my heart wanting to be about what you are about. i would rather have all of that right now than drop it to meet someone and move toward being married.

woah. that is big for me. really big for me.

party time

i've been living in the same apartment for about 3 years. i've had 3 different roommates since i've moved in. luckily, all 3 of them have shared my love of a good party. from last-minute get-togethers with maybe 6 to 10 people to full blown, stereo crankin', 100 people bashes; we've seen it all.

tonight night my roommate A and i are throwing a halloween party. in the past, we've had upwards of 100 people come to these kinds of parties. crazy, i know! luckily our apartment is big and spread out, and we've got a deck out back.

it's funny how my attitude toward these parties has changed over the last 3 years. the first ever big party i threw was for valentines day. my first roommate and i threw it, and it was huge. we had no idea so many people would come. the day after the party, we were at church, and two ridiculously good looking guys came up to us and said, lisa, sc! great party last night! that was awesome! we looked at each other and grinned; success!

now, like 5 or 6 giant parties later, i'm a pro at this. and while it's fun, it's not quite as thrilling as it use to be. first of all, from a single person's standpoint, as terrible as this sounds, i've stopped hoping to meet someone. i know all the dudes who show up. and if i don't know them, well, generally there's a reason for that. like, they're someone else's girlfriend, or they're really short (don't get all up on my case. there's nothing wrong with being short. it's just that i am 6'1", and feel ridiculously awkward dating shorter men), or they have many issues.

so my attitude has changed. and as with anything, parties are old hat now. i've thrown and attended a lot as a single person. they're not shiny and new anymore, they're a staple of the single life.

i am still excited though. i'm hoping to introduce friends to other friends, and maybe see some sparks fly. i'm hoping to just laugh and have fun and enjoy myself. i'm hoping to serve my friends out of love with the gifts god has given me. and if 2 other random good looking guys congratulate me at church tomorrow, i'll take it. a compliment is a compliment.