for whom the bell tolls

the wedding bell, that is. so my dad told me yesterday that he asked his girlfriend to marry him. i'm so happy for him; the woman he's been dating for a while now is really nice, has a wonderful family, and so far seems to think the world of him. she also seems to be a strong catholic, which is nice, as my dad is too.

it wasn't until several hours after i got off the phone with my dad that some sadness started to kick in. it's all totally irrational, and i'm fine today, but... i was a little teary for a while. my dad's girlfriend will probably move in with him in the house i grew up in once they're married. i started to wonder... will my room still be my room? can i still go home whenever i want? can i still show up for dinner whenever i want? i'm sure things will be fine, but this has been a lot to think about.

my brother is married. many of my close friends are married. (some even have a kid or two). and now my dad will be, too. it makes me feel even less anchored... like so many people around me are anchored in some way, and i'm not. still living in my apartment, still single, and as of lately, thinking a lot about a career change.

but, i'm cool... i'm ok. i know what god has in store for me, sooner or later. and i have him. it's hard, and a little lonely, but exciting too. it's exciting to know that god's working in me right now, and that so many awesome things are still ahead of me.

just a quick holiday check-in...

greetings from the northlands. posts have been few and far between lately what with prepping for the holidays and spending time with the fam. currently i'm in the great northlands (i'd say white, but it's more gray, because it's been raining, not snowing, since we got here) with my dad; we're visiting my brother and sister-in-law (can i just tell you how much i love saying that!?).

in years past i've tended to get a bit sad and mopey at the holidays. my brother and dad have generally had a significant other, while i pretty much never do (except one christmas two years ago). this year my brother is married. my dad is dating someone, but she didn't make the trip with us. this year i'm doing fine. no loneliness, no sadness, no pity parties (so far. that could change, as i still have a couples' baby shower and a new year's eve party to attend).

i feel good. i feel mature. i feel thankful. christmas has been a lot of fun, and i still have new year's eve to look forward to.

i hope the season's going well for anyone reading this. if not, i guess just try and be thankful. or go have a good cry and a glass of (spiked) eggnog first, then be thankful.