i recently read this post over at 'the gift of singleness,' a blog written by some singles in the UK. they bring up some good points in their posts, in general, but they are sometimes a little too 'disciples of all things debbie maken' for me.
in the aforementioned post, they use this passage from maken's book:
"...think about what happened in Nazi Germany. One could say that those events were God's will. In a technical sense, those events did happen while God was ruling. But for us to say that God wills the murder of six million innocent people completely contradicts what he has revealed in Scripture and inaccurately reflects his desires."then captain sensible draws the same 'obvious' conclusion that maken does; it's not god's will for us to be single. leaving aside the pretty ludicrous comparison of the murder of millions of innocent people to the current state of single christians, i have to question the statement.
i admit that i may have done something not exactly christlike. i submitted a comment on captain sensible's post in which i asked, ok, so why am i still single? (though, it doesn't really matter; they don't seem to be too fond of publishing my comments)
and this is the question that i feel that maken and all of her followers don't address. they don't speak enough to the fact that whether or not god caused this to happen, this is how it is for a lot of people. i have done everything in my power to change my situation. i have to now believe that god has me here for a reason.
i am not missing a date or a husband. i am not living outside of god's will because i don't have one. i am not less loveable or holy than debbie maken or any other happily (or not so happily) married christian. it is obvious to me that god has me here in a place of singleness for a reason.
it's not obvious in that i know why i am still single. it's more of an obviousness that comes from having tried everything humanly possible to get out of my situation. i very much want companionship, and all that comes with it. but god has been telling me to stop seeking. to concentrate on him instead of his gifts. is it hard? holy CRAP yes. sometimes i am so sad and lonely and frustrated i just have to cry for awhile. and not just a few tears, no, the crying with the ugly sobs and loud gasping for air. the kind of crying where you have to put your pillow over your face so you won't wake up your roommate, and the next morning your eyes are all puffy.
i wish that more christians would speak to this. so many single christians need compassion and encouragement, not someone telling them that life's not supposed to be this way. we know that already. it's a fallen world. of course it's not supposed to be this way! our sadness and loneliness and longing tell us that already.
i'm encouraging anyone else in my shoes to continue to seek god. seek a date, too, if you don't feel him telling you not to. by all means, seek a date! but make sure you are seeking to know and love and live like Him before all else. then all the rest will be given unto you.
