asking for what you're not sure you'll get

i was journaling/praying/thinking the other night and a question popped into my head; should i pray for a spouse when i don't really know that i'll ever get one? i sat and thought about it some, and before i finally went to bed, i was leaning more toward a yes, although not a solid yes.

the next day the question bounced around my head a little more. i was still leaning toward yes, but i didn't have any solid reasons on which to stand yet. that night my friend tom, who is 40 and single, called to talk about an upcoming party he and i are helping plan. i asked him my question, and he agreed that the answer was yes. he had some good reasons, too.

tom said that asking god to bring him a spouse keeps him from worrying about it too much. that it reminds him that god is in control and that it's His job to bring tom and his future wife together. i really liked that. he said praying for a spouse freed him up to think about and act on other things, instead of worrying where to go and what to do and how to meet the right person.

we also talked about the fact that well, you're supposed to ask god for things. you're supposed to take all things to him in prayer. especially things that you really really want. and we're supposed to have faith like a child. kids believe in things that are completely impossible. me getting married is very possible... why not just believe it will happen?

after we talked, i also started to think about how much happier i've been since i've started to live my life like i really believe everything god says to be true about me (ie that i'm his wonderful creation, that i'm worth a lot, that i'm talented and gifted, that i'm here for a reason, etc). i'm just happier. more confident. i feel like i'm growing and understanding Him more.

it doesn't seem like that big of a jump to apply all of that stuff to the whole spouse seeking thing. i could just relax, take my desires to god in prayer as often as i want, and live with confidence that He's taking care of it. i could be wrong, but it seems like me praying more can't be a bad thing. maybe more prayer would open the communication channels up and i'd get better at hearing god when he's trying to speak to me.

plus, i like picturing myself with that kind of faith. it's cool! it makes me feel good to think about just believing with total certainty that god will bring me together with a tall, jesus-loving, awesome guy. it gives me a strong sense of peace.

(ps evan how's that for not venting!?!)

a very healthy attitude toward seeking a spouse

i read an article on solo femininity today which i think sums up what seems to me is the best attitude for a single person to have toward finding a spouse:

The emphasis here is on living a God-glorifying existence, married or single. The reason for this is that searching for a mate can easily slip into idolatry. But laziness and passivity also can easily hide under the guise of trusting God. One can be proactive to a proper degree about finding a spouse, but one always needs to vigilant about what's lurking in the heart if a spouse doesn't turn up in the time or manner expected (demanded?) of God. I liken this to the mix of human responsibility and divine sovereignty in the matter of evangelism. I believe Scripture's clear emphasis is on God's sovereignty in saving people, but the Bible also clearly teaches human responsibility in preaching the gospel. So though none of us can actually regenerate another human being, we get out there and share the gospel, we invite our neighbors to outreach events, we serve the poor and needy--and we trust God for the results.

that's from Carolyn McCulley's Blog, Solo Femininity. the post is entitled Raising the Stakes. And i think she's spot on with it.