Wednesday, September 19, 2007

when a friend is just a friend

so i posted once before about my friend seth, and how one night as he drove me home i thought he was going to tell me he liked me as more than a friend. he didn't say anything even remotely like that though. and i felt a little silly.

since then we've continued to hang out a lot. this past weekend we went out to sing some karaoke with friends and drove together. the next day he invited me to work on some website stuff i'd mentioned at a coffee shop near his house (he was there doing homework). he also invited me to watch him race this weekend, paid for my drinks on friday night, and a few other things.

add to that the fact that some of my friends are all 'you and seth hang out a lot! do you like him? i think he likes you!' and suddenly i'm wondering if i should stop accepting his invitations, or in the very least have one of those 'are we on the same page?' conversations.

monday night i sat down and wrote him an email. in the simplest, kindest words i could think of, i basically told him that i really enjoyed his friendship and didn't want to mess it up, and i just wanted to make sure we were on the same page. i told him i thought i had been picking up some 'more than friendly' vibes and was hoping that i hadn't been leading him on. then i hit send, crossed my fingers, and said a quick prayer.

i got a response the next day that totally put my fears at ease. he said that he'd been a bit taken aback at my email, but when he thought about it he could see why his actions could have been taken a little bit out of context. he assured me everything was cool, and i hadn't been leading him on at all. we're just friends.

giant sigh of relief! i was soooo glad. and even though it was awkward and a hard thing to bring up, i'm glad i did it. now we can hang out and i don't have to worry about messages i may or may not be sending.

plus, it feels good that i took a risk to make sure things were right. i can't help but feel proud of myself that i risked our friendship turning wierd, seth being angry or annoyed that i would think something like that, or even seth pulling away, by trying to clarify the situation. and i feel like my risk was rewarded; the friendship is solid and now i'm more sure of our status than ever. of course, i also feel a little silly, but the good feelings definitely outweigh the silly ones. besides, better safe than sorry. or in this case, safe and silly than sorry.

1 comment:

Jenny Silva said...

You should be very proud of yourself. Plus you should take a risk every day and just think, this was a serious risk. Good job! I can relate cause I put myself in risky situations that make my knees shake and hands sweat every day. I wish you the best in finding your significant other and in the meantime if you want to laugh at my own stories of dating misfortune please check out my personal website at http://www.jennycurl.com. Thanks!