when a friend is just a friend

so i posted once before about my friend seth, and how one night as he drove me home i thought he was going to tell me he liked me as more than a friend. he didn't say anything even remotely like that though. and i felt a little silly.

since then we've continued to hang out a lot. this past weekend we went out to sing some karaoke with friends and drove together. the next day he invited me to work on some website stuff i'd mentioned at a coffee shop near his house (he was there doing homework). he also invited me to watch him race this weekend, paid for my drinks on friday night, and a few other things.

add to that the fact that some of my friends are all 'you and seth hang out a lot! do you like him? i think he likes you!' and suddenly i'm wondering if i should stop accepting his invitations, or in the very least have one of those 'are we on the same page?' conversations.

monday night i sat down and wrote him an email. in the simplest, kindest words i could think of, i basically told him that i really enjoyed his friendship and didn't want to mess it up, and i just wanted to make sure we were on the same page. i told him i thought i had been picking up some 'more than friendly' vibes and was hoping that i hadn't been leading him on. then i hit send, crossed my fingers, and said a quick prayer.

i got a response the next day that totally put my fears at ease. he said that he'd been a bit taken aback at my email, but when he thought about it he could see why his actions could have been taken a little bit out of context. he assured me everything was cool, and i hadn't been leading him on at all. we're just friends.

giant sigh of relief! i was soooo glad. and even though it was awkward and a hard thing to bring up, i'm glad i did it. now we can hang out and i don't have to worry about messages i may or may not be sending.

plus, it feels good that i took a risk to make sure things were right. i can't help but feel proud of myself that i risked our friendship turning wierd, seth being angry or annoyed that i would think something like that, or even seth pulling away, by trying to clarify the situation. and i feel like my risk was rewarded; the friendship is solid and now i'm more sure of our status than ever. of course, i also feel a little silly, but the good feelings definitely outweigh the silly ones. besides, better safe than sorry. or in this case, safe and silly than sorry.