Tuesday, December 18, 2007

i'm not bitter....


ok, maybe i am a little bitter. why does dating happen so easily for some people? yes, i know; you generally don't get to see the whole picture. there are details of other people's lives that often remain hidden, or get over- or under-estimated in the retelling. but allow me to... well, to vent for a just a bit.

so seth is dating this girl. he was set up with her by a coworker. he met her one night while out with a coworker and her friends. then, the next week at work, coworker says, hey seth, what did you think of my friend girl_x? and seth says, um, i don't know, she's cool i guess? and coworker says, do you want to take her out? seth replies, um, ok? coworker had already had a similar conversation with girl_x, and she is agreeable to going on a date with seth. coworker gives seth girl_x's number.

fast forward... basically, all he has to do is call her and ask her out. he does. they go. it's great. overnight, stoic seth turns into googly seth. now, don't get me wrong... i am seriously so excited for him. it's great. they've been on 3 dates, and every time i get to hear how well things are going from seth, and how much he thinks he likes her, and how she left her hat in his car so he held it ransom for a goodnight kiss (yeah, i know, you want to puke too, right? right?!). and seriously, seth is an awesome guy and this is great that this is going so well for him. at one point when i was telling him how excited i was for him he laughed and said that he wondered if i was more excited than he was. (i seriously doubt that!) but yeah, i am pumped for him. it's great to see things work out for someone, especially someone as awesome and solid as seth.

but at the same time that i'm excited, it's also tough. seth is 25, almost 26. i'm 28. he hasn't dated much at all; this girl was his first date in six years, i think he said. so, his first date in six years, and it's AWESOME. and he does like next to no work! this girl just falls from the sky, into his lap, and boom! it's awesome. what the crap!?!? yes, i know, they're not married yet; it's only been 3 dates. but i admit it; i'm a little jealous. how many random annoying dates have i gone on? how much work have i put into this? how many books have i read, conversations have i struggled through, and for what? i know, i know, it's the journey. and yeah, i've learned a heck of a lot.

so maybe i am a little bitter. i guess i should i probably go pray and ask god to take that away. i don't like feeling that way, but can you blame me? i'm sorry. i'll be better tomorrow. promise.


Amir Larijani said...

I've got almost 13 years on you and I have a hard enough time finding a date.

Heck, my biggest gripe is where the heck do you go to find them? I've been to so many churches in my adult life. I must have "single woman repellent" on me, because there typically are no Christian single women where I go.

Then I wonder, "Where the heck did all these married couples meet their mates??"

It's almost enough to drive a person insane.

Gina said...

I agree - it's very difficult not to become bitter or even jealous over what God's given to others. I think the older I get the more effort I have to put into trusting that He has something/someone great in store for me, too. At this stage of my life, I'm finding it easy to lose hope; easier, somehow, to tell myself that it will never happen than to keep believing and keep being disappointed.

Evan said...

wah wah wah! Seriously, sometimes I can't believe how much you "vent." Does this come about from talking to Seth? And anyhow, you complain about how easy it is for him and how this just drops into his lap. But, dang, he hasn't had a date in six years. Hmm... I'm sure that must have been easy. I am trying to come to grips with the whole marriage thing. And something that I am coming to is that it is obvious when it is going to work and when it isn't. At least from the outside. I have seen three close friends of mine get married or getting close to getting married and I knew the moment that I saw them interact or the moment that I met the person they were dating that they were going to get married. I mean it was as simple as that. Maybe it's a gift I have, the ability to see couples that will marry in a moments notice and the not quite enviable gift of speaking truth. Maybe one day I will learn to put some grace with the truth.

I suppose, lastly, that one day a man will be in your life and when you start falling for him and it lays itself into place you will wonder in awe at the ease. And if I even hear you say something in line with why it had to take so long... ... ... I might just say you should just thank God and be grateful.

single/certain said...

amir--i hear ya. i go to a gigantic church that has more single people than any other... and so far, no real bites. sigh.

gina... hang in there. i'm going to post soon on a conversation i had a with an older (41) single guy friend the other night. it gave me a lot of hope, and made me want to kindle a strong faith that god will provide for me.

aahhhh... evan. first of all, you'd better be kidding! i have heard TONS more venting/whining/etc from you!!! and anyways, yes i HAVE talked to seth about this. he totally realizes that he is very lucky. and yeah, those six years weren't all that hard because he didn't really CARE all that much. he wasn't trying. he was racing and in fire school and doing military stuff.

but yeah, i totally agree with you; i think that most of the time, it is kinda easy. most of the married couples i know come out with that wonderful 'i just knew' line when asked how they knew.

and yeah; i hope it works out like that.... i hope it just falls into place and works itself out. i hope it works that way for you, too!