Sunday, August 19, 2007

single/certain: me

i'm a christ follower in my late twenties. i'm female, taller than average, i like design, art, music videos, sparkling wines, and great jeans, among other things. i'm also single, and i have been for most of my adult life. when i say single, i mean, like, not in any kind of romantic relationship. i've had 2 relationships in my adult life; neither lasted more than about 3 or 4 months.

in spite of my singleness (well, probably because of my singleness) i've been a student of relationships since college. i've become the friend my other friends come to for advice, i'm the one recommending the latest relationship or christian psychology book, i'm the one suggesting that my married friends learn to fight fairly.

so that's a little bit of me.... but, why this blog? i've been yearning for a place for single people for a long time. a place where no one will tell us that we need to get married, or ask if we're seeing anyone. where our married friends won't try and set us up with anyone and everyone. where our friends won't secretly (or not so secretly) wonder what's wrong with us that we haven't found someone yet.

if you're single, i want you to know that you are ok just the way you are. that god loves you and has a plan for your life. you weren't forgotten, left out, or cosmically screwed over. there is a plan! maybe it involves meeting someone special soon, maybe not. maybe he wants to teach you things or prune things or give you something else special first. i don't know. but i do know that there is nothing wrong with you, and that you are not alone.

i'm not here to tell you exactly how to not be single anymore, or give you the formula for how to meet 'the one.' but i will share with you about my dating experiences, books i've read, my hopes and fears, and maybe even some of the really embarrassing stories about guys i've gone on dates with. (we'll see about that last one...)

i hope that by sharing my struggles and the things that god has been teaching me, it will help someone. i feel like i've learned a lot and learn more and more all the time. comment, ask questions, read away. shoot me emails, too, if you like. and know that i'm praying for you.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

In my opinion, sometimes the church can put women at a disadvantage. First off there are plenty great men who are not christian who are probably shunned. Second the no sex before marriage puts girls at a great disadvantage to secular girls.

Although i respect and admire the views and patience on sex, it is hard to compete with girls who do have sex within the context of a relationship (not promiscous girls).

My cousin is 28 in a similar predicament. Its just the type of guy she wants has a lot of options (tall, smart, handsome, financially stable). And there are girls who are just as pretty willing to be in more intimate relationships (she says even some christian men expect sex in a relationship).

I think there are many girls in similar situations and I know it is difficult. Best of luck in finding a future mate.