Monday, October 01, 2007

the gift of boyfriends (yes, plural)

single girls, if you don't have boyfriends, you are missing out. i don't mean a boyfriend. i mean boyfriends.

we all know that girlfriends are golden. we can share and laugh and cry and drink cosmopolitans together. and i am so thankful for that. i think i am especially thankful because a good girlfriend is hard to come by, for me. they keep getting married! plus it takes a lot of effort to cultivate a really solid friendship with a girl. it's very worth it, but tough.

but, boyfriends... yeah, you gotta have them too. i am lucky enough to have evan and seth and james, among others. and each one is awesome for his own specific reasons. until i have a boyfriend, i will enjoy having guys like them in my life.

evan is my number one boyfriend. he's arty like me, and wears his heart on his sleave like me, too. he also has the ability to totally crack me up by saying the most random stuff. we hang out and ponder singleness and make fun of each other and joke about how everyone thinks we're dating even though we're not. i love evan because he always tells the truth, has the best hair of almost any guy i know, is hilariously funny, and generally doesn't care what anyone thinks of him. lately we've been bonding over his experiences with a girl he likes. i've learned a lot about how guys actually are kind of fragile. and how sometimes it's just good to sit and listen, and not really give any advice at all.

after evan, there's seth and james. seth is an engineer, races motorcycles, and has an old 2-seater british convertible. he is the most stoic guy i have ever met, and also probably the most well-rounded. i love riding in his car with him, trading emails about how he experiences god versus how i do, and cracking jokes about what's logical and what's not. i like hanging with seth because he slows me down. also, i love his ability to focus. wherever seth is, he is there 100%. he's engaged in whatever he's doing until it's done. i could definitely use some more of that quality.

james has a motorcycle, loves a good glass of wine, and has dated a woman 20 years older than him. he is this wonderful combination of boy and man. he loves his toys; he has a motorcycle and an amazingly fast boat, both of which he loves to share with other people. i love how james is appreciative of things that most other guys would miss; a cool pair of shoes, a girl who has her own style, stuff like that. i also love how sensitive he is. he tries to cover it up with his toughness and his fast toys, but he has a soft heart, loves to cuddle, and he is very afraid of being hurt. i can definitely identify with that.

those are just a few of the men in my life. i seriously doubt i'll marry any of them, but they are a lot of fun to hang out with. we challenge each other to grow, provide insight that same-sex friends generally can't, and just enjoy each other's company. plus, they make me feel good. i have solid friendships with 3 solid guys... there's something about that that makes me feel, well, appreciated. it gives me an ego boost.

if you are a single girl, make sure you have some boyfriends. and single guys, make sure you have some girlfriends. make sure you're always on the same page, and you'll have a lot of fun and learn more than you might have wanted to know. ;-)


singlechristianman said...

In Captivating , part of the Wild at Heart series, Stasi Eldridge, a married woman, describes how a man praying for her helped her (a married woman) through a difficult spot. The little bit is precious to me because it speaks to the capacity of mature christians to have profound friendships with people of the opposite gender when the roots of their life with God and their spouse are deep enough.

When I was single first time around, I found that many of the single chrsistian ladies of my circle were profoundly helpful in pressing me forward with my walk with God.

You've given good advice, here.

single/certain said...

i LOVE captivating; that book changed my life. and i remember that passage; it definitely moved me. thanks for the kudos, scm!